Determination Over
Expectation
I am
currently in a state of concern about how people today look at goals in
life. These goals could be anything from
weight loss, improving on a skill, developing closer relationships with people,
or any other area of your life that needs improvement. What I have found is that, in general, if it
(whatever it is) doesn’t come easy to them they give up, find excuses, and
sweep the issue under the preverbal carpet.
This pattern is not only ignored by society, but is encouraged. People only want to see people succeed at
things they are naturally good at. When
someone attempts to step outside their “box” of skills and abilities others,
often friends and sometimes even family, caution, discourage, and lessen the
importance by saying, “I just think you’re over thinking that. It’s no big
deal.”
This
attitude along with the support from society, has developed a culture of one
trick ponies. Long gone are the days
where people strived to be talented at various sports, music, and learning. People are, for the most part, emotionally
driven. When they already feel anxious
about stepping outside their comfort zone, and they receive discouraging
feedback, they are more than likely going to cave to comfort. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard,
“I would work out but I’m too lazy. At least I am really good at my job. Good
to know I have that going for me.”
It is
your right to have everything going for you.
You don’t have to be smart and out of shape, athletic and not musical,
and be hardworking while lacking friendships. Of course life needs balance, but
people operate under this false dogma.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
How do
we fix the common culture? We stop
setting goals that are results driven and move to ones that are based on
determination. For example, in weight
loss, don’t make the goal to lose ten pounds, make the goal to be committed to
working out five times a week and eating right every day The latter will guarantee success and a more
positive experience.
I am living this right now. I am 28
years old and have been an athlete my whole life, I have never picked up an
instrument in my life, besides the recorder in sixth grade (which I failed,
sorry Mrs. Craft). A few weeks ago, I
decided to teach myself how to play the guitar.
It was by stepping outside my box that I realized this truth about
successful goal setting. You must know, I
am horrible. No one wants to hear me play. But if I want to figure out how to
play, I am going to have to stay determined. There is no way I could set a goal
like: I want to play a full song in three months. That would be absurd, and if I did set that
goal, I would be setting myself up for extreme disappointment. When I don’t reach my results based goal, I
will become even further disappointed. I
already sound bad and I couldn’t reach my goal.
Why would I continue?
If instead I set my goal to be
determined and practice for at least an hour a day, then my emotions are
attached to my practicing instead of reaching a result. I will now feel bad if I miss a day. I
guarantee that if I practice for an hour a day I will get better, no matter how
horrible I am now. If you are trying to
get in shape, if you set your goal on eating every meal every day and working
out five times a week, you will succeed!
Your emotions will be tied not in the scale but to your grit. No matter what area of your life that needs
improvement, set your goal on being determined, not on a potential
outcome. Certainly, you should not set
them on results others have had. People
learn how to play the guitar faster than I can, people burn fat at different
rates, and so on. Your body, your mind,
your results will vary. Ignore the
successes and failures of others, focus on you.
When it comes to facing society, if
a friend discourages you from achieving something that is clearly in your best
interest, you need to seriously question if that person is a good friend. This can seem incredibly hard but, trust me,
if you continue to stay dedicated to your objective, new people will come into
your life that will help support and guide you through it. I personally have had to distance myself from
people I was close to for many years when I realized that they didn’t have my
best interest in mind. Don’t settle for
company, strive for people with purpose. Don’t be afraid to grow and become
bigger and better than yesterday, instead, take an exited approach to
life. Think about everything you can,
want, and dream to be. Then go get it.
No comments:
Post a Comment