Mom

Mom

Written by: David A. DeRose

Strong yet gentle

Fierce as a grizzly bear yet cuddly as a teddy bear

Powerful yet tender

Advisor and punisher

Builder of spirits and breaker of strong will

Transporter and teacher

Detective and restorer

A shoulder to cry on and an honest word when needed

Full time worrier

Moral compass

Adapter to the many seasons of childhood

Life giver 

Mom

Park Bench

Park Bench

Written by: David A. DeRose

Three old ladies sit on a park bench. Their crackled faces form smiles, sincere and reassuring. The sun warms their pale, freckled, vascular flesh. They watch as toddlers, a boy and a girl, bobble in the thick green grass. Watching, they discuss old times, families, and get caught up on grandchildren. Their seasoned vocal chords make melodies that sit atop the breeze like music.

Their gaze moves from each other to survey they park. The boy, in his coveralls and light blue shirt, is carefully observing the grass around him—chubby arms raised like a football referee. The girl’s blonde hair glows in the sunlight as she bounces and twirls, making her flower dress catch the wind and flutter freely. Her arms spread wide to catch every bit of balance she can. In an instant, she loses her hold on gravity and falls gently on her backside.

Just to the left, the boy squats, and is clearly investigating something closely. The old ladies can’t see what it is as the boy’s back is facing them. He points and reaches down with his chubby hand. He plucks something from the ground and stands up with it, holding it with both hands. The girl, just getting up from her tumble, turns to the boy just in time. He offers her a dandelion. His posture: regal. The girl’s hands go to both of her cheeks before accepting the yellow blossom.

The old lady on the left clasps her hands together, rubbing one thumb down the middle of her palm, and cracks a shy smile. The old lady in the middle taps her hand on her bosom, tilting her head slightly to the left sighing softly. The old lady on the right claps her hands together—jewelry rattling—and exclaims, “Oh, what a gentleman!”

Beauty is transitory moments that are as sweet as they are fleeting. These old women, with their untold wisdom and keen awareness of their own mortality, watch the two youngsters investigating the world with innocent eyes. The women’s moment is equally as beautiful as the children’s frolicking. This is life’s beautiful balance; young and old. Perspectives, in endless juxtaposition, deliver timeless transcendent splendor.

Teenager

River Reborn

River Reborn

Written by: Dave DeRose

Dry, desolate, desert
Winds whips pebbles and tosses tumble weeds
Abandoned, desiring, yearning
Mouth open wide with chapped lips
Face pointed to the heavens praying
Arms spread wide, circling in anticipation
Tung dances like a kid’s hand reaching for the cookie jar
Where is my drop?
When is it coming?
 

***

Then the deluge
Rain saturates every pore
Soaking skin like a dry sponge
I stand there
My spiral slows
Mouth filling up with water
Hands taking their rightful place near my heart
 

***

Thankful, I lay down in the moist soil
Prayers have been answered
Unknown made known
I am revitalized
Cool fat raindrops pelt my face
Head laid back into soft wet earth
Thoughts of thankfulness overcome
The moisture settles me into my place on this earth

5 Myths About White Privilege

5 Myths About White Privilege

Written by: Dave DeRose

            As soon as some of you read my first few points, I know that you are going to check out. Some of you are going to disagree with me, some in quiet and others vocally. To those of you who disagree, I ask that you challenge yourself to read this piece in its entirety – it’s not long – and reflect on the points made. How do they make you feel? And, why do you feel that way? After you have considered those thoughts I encourage you to contact me with questions you have or if you would like to express your thoughts.

Others will agree with most if not everything I say.  I would encourage you to raise your voice on this issue, help me clear the air.

Now when it comes to white privilege – I just felt to collective chill running down the spine of white people everywhere – there are five myths that directly impact how white privilege is perceived, and perception is reality.  It is time to lift the veil on what white privilege is in order to remedy these misguided perceptions. These common misconceptions have led white people everywhere to push back and reject it. However there is nothing to push against here. Truth is like the wind, no matter how hard you push you’ll never knock it down. You’ll either fall on your face or a gust will knock you down. I will identify these myths in order to better convey the reality of white privilege really is. It is not something to be afraid of, feel guilty about, or be threatened by.

#1 White privilege is a racist term.

            White privilege does acknowledge race as a factor of society; however, it is not a racist term. It is a societal observation that race is the variable that changes how people experience life. It is a cultural term that should stay in that context. White people belong to the dominant culture group and are thus less impacted (if impacted at all) in American culture based on the color of their skin, than people of color are. Every culture around the world has a dominant culture group. If you live in the Middle East, this could be the difference between being Shi’a or Sunni. In India it is the difference between being a Brahman or an Untouchable. In China it is the Han Chinese. The cultural group you are born to directly impact how you experience the society you are raised in. Race in this country, just so happens to be our dividing line. 

#2 Acknowledging white privilege means that you have to admit to being racist.

            Being a member of the dominant culture group doesn’t make you racist. It just means that your skin color is the same as the one belonging to the dominant culture group.  I will discuss were racism comes into play later. 

# 3 White privilege discredits a white person’s hard work and success.

            White privilege doesn’t discredit any hard working white person's success and throw it in the trash as, “This only happened because they are white.” People of all races work hard and lift themselves out of poverty everyday. My parents came to Colorado with little more than $300. They – through hard work and being responsible – were able to build something amazing. Their success is not due to their skin color. However, choosing neighborhoods, buying shampoo, finding Band-Aids that matched the color of their children’s skin was not as stressful as it would have been for a black family. They were never hired for a job and then accused of only getting it because they were white and their employer needed to fit a quota. They were always viewed as competent for the jobs they earned.

#4 White privilege is a stereotype.

            Merriam-Webster defines a stereotype as, “A standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment.” In other words, thinking that all gay men are flamboyant, physically weak, and dress in a certain way is a stereotype.  It turns human beings into single word negative definition. Stereotypes, such as the one listed above, do exist and are detrimental to our society: white privilege is not a stereotype. White privilege identifies a social construct that revolves around being born white in a white dominated culture. It, in essence, says that there are things you don’t have to worry about because you were born in white skin.  That’s what privilege is; not having to worry about things others do. Just like a child being born to wealthy parents. It is not the child’s fault they were born into privilege. Yet, as the child gets older, acknowledging they are more privileged than others is essential to understanding their place in the world. Only when we, as white people, acknowledge there is white privilege can we begin to use it to improve circumstances for those not born in the dominant culture group. Just as a wealthy family can use their privilege to help others by donating money, hiring people outside their race, and a plethora of other ways; we too can use our ears, voices, and attitudes to improve circumstances for those not born in the dominate culture group.

#5 There is only one race, the human race.

            I have heard this one a lot, and to be honest I wish it were true. As a Christian, I believe that we are all made in God’s image and therefore are all connected. Yet, to deny different races, religions, and cultures is to deny peoples experiences as they walk through life. When we deny people’s lived experiences, it is like telling them they don’t exist. For if the experiences they have had are just imaginary then their life must be as well. Different races do experience the world differently. For example, I went shopping for groceries and hygiene products this morning. I went to my local grocery store – just up the street – and was able to find shampoo, hair gel, and all the foods that I grew up with easily. I didn’t have to drive to a special “ethnic” store to find the products I needed. This is not true for everyone. 

In conclusion

            White privilege is a reality. Skin does impact how we experience life: especially in this country. To dismiss this fact is to deny the reality of so many great people. In my opinion, the only racist action is to deny this truth and sweep it under the rug of indifference.

Shadows Cast Across Canyons

Shadows Cast Across Canyons

Written by: Dave DeRose

I always thought I was special.

That I had something more.

I’d save the world like Captain America!

Throwing the football across the street; I was John Elway.

Putting the perfect spiral on the Super Bowl winning touchdown.

Never a thought of mediocrity…

Now 28, I feel nothing but mediocre.

I'm not sure if you'll know my meaning 

Nor do I think these words are new.

Feeling like a pebble on a beach.

Falling into an existential abyss.

So I escaped.

Far, to a desert land.

Found a canyon.

Climbed to the highest point.

Looked across the canyon to see my silhouette excitedly waving its arms above its head…

I cast a shadow across this great canyon.

Here I found peace.

Realizing that’s what our lives are.

Shadows cast across canyons.

Step Out

Step Out

Written by: Dave DeRose

It is time to identify and discuss the root cause of the racial tensions that we face today. It is important to mention that this discussion shouldn’t just be limited to race, but also religion, sexual orientation, and nationality. However, as race is at the forefront of national conversation, I will use it as a vehicle on which to propel and express my understanding. I have come to the conclusion that there is a specific equation that, when calculated, gives us our current state or racial tension. The equation goes; marginalization + removal of dignity x (privilege + lack of empathy) = the state of our current society. Race is the unfortunate variable that is used to create unfair, perpetual, and systemic degradation. When this topic is sincerely investigated, it is impossible to deny this truth. I will break down the parts of this equation and give a solution; a new equation for our future.

To marginalize, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “to put or keep (someone) in a powerless or unimportant position within a society or group.” If you look around to CEOs, politicians, principals, and any other positions of power, there is an overwhelming lack of diversity. It has been proven in the research of John Nunley and Adam Pugh (2014). They sent out 9,400 resumes, equal in experience and degree obtained. They found that African-American applicants were 16% less likely to be called in for an interview. The results were increased when the job was for a position that is customer facing. This is an unfair study as it assumes that there are equal numbers of qualified candidates. It doesn’t take into consideration the obstacles the majority of black families face is obtaining competitive degrees (i.e. poverty, access to materials, and cultural capitol). So, even in the utopia of this experiment where all is equal, there is still a substantial disadvantage of being black. That is marginalization.  

Dignity, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is “the quality of being worthy of honor and respect.” When people are marginalized, dignity is stripped away. Without dignity identify is lost. This is expressed in how races other than white are portrayed in history books (or lack there of). When there is no strong sense of dignity, as is gained through identity, therein is created a power void. It is in this void that, I believe, there is an issue between the black community and the police. 

Why is there an excess of criminality in the black community? I think the answer in Sayani’s dissertation (2010) explains it best. In this case, he was interviewing members of a school (both teachers and students) about a group of students who were referred to as the “Brown Boys” within the school. They were second generation Pakistani and Indian children. Teachers feared them because of their behavior. When asked about their behavior one of the Brown Boys said, “We won't let history repeat itself. We’re taking control; it’s like we may not be the majority be we can take the power” (p. 165). When the powers that be perpetuate powerlessness, people seek to gain power how and where they can. This was expressed in Laura Hillenbrand’s Unbroken (2010). There are many instances where POWs would take a great risk to steal insignificant items just to assert control and reestablish dignity. They, as prisoners, were breaking the rules and some would say unnecessarily so. But, in breaking the rules of the system that was meant to break them, they gained power.  I know this is an extreme example, but I use it purposefully. The stripping of dignity through the POW camps serves as a severe example of what black people face in our country. There is an innate human need for exerting power and control in one’s life. When there isn’t equal access to power via the institutions that exist, the power void that is created will be filled with actions that are viewed as undesirable by that same institution.  

I know exactly what some of you are thinking, “There is no excuse for breaking the law.” “They should know better.” Or, “If they would just follow the law they wouldn’t have to deal with the police.” That is one I have been guilty of thinking on more than one occasion. Yet, thinking like this is what physiology describes as fundamental attribution error. Taking a person’s actions and attributing it to their character; not taking into consideration all the external forces that caused that behavior (as mentioned above). It is essential to our success as a community, even nation, to look past actions and, instead, discover to their root causes. What are the external motivational factors that led to criminality. How are institutions creating power voids in our communities? Why is there not equal access to power within this country?

Now I challenge you to practice empathy. Do you know what it is like to experience marginalization based on race? Where your skin color is a measurable aggregate of your academic success? Where your race is a measurable aggregate of your socioeconomic status? If you find yourself having trouble grasping these concepts, as I did, I recommend you go outside of your normal “circle” and have a conversation with someone who has faced these realities everyday of their entire life. Wait, don’t be so quick to throw me a roll of the eyes. If you think I am wrong, please go and have the conversation with a member of a different race, and if I end up being wrong, please let me know. I was fortunate enough to have friends who shared their truth with me: it was transformative. It is in these honest conversations that we can develop empathy. When we can address and accept that marginalization, removal of dignity, and the lack of empathy derived from privilege exist, we can begin to make a difference. If we do, our equation will change to; inclusion + acceptance + praise x empathy = an accepting society with equal access to power. 

The choice to act is genuinely up to you. I can not come to your house and introduce you to people. You will have to take a step outside your own door and meet people where they are at. This may be extremely difficult. It was, and often still is difficult for me. There have been times where I refused to go. I chickened out and nothing has disheartened me more. I am now, as I hope you will be, resolved to do this work. Experience the world through others eyes and you will be all the better for it. And, if we engage in empathy, individuals, households, communities, states, and even the nation will be better for it. We must first understand before we can act.